What on earth?!

Ever wonder what it is that God has called you to in life?

Me too. {Or maybe you figured it out and are quite comfy in your little corner.}

Well, I haven’t. My husband has been my sounding board as I ponder out loud what I’m doing with my life. Where I {we} are headed… what we are about… what we talk about with you when you come over… our sole purpose in relationships… what we want out of life besides work!

These questions I face might all have to do with the fact that I am a relocated bride. I admit, it isn’t always easy knowing where I fit in down here in the deep, far away south. So maybe that is the reason for my quest for understanding my reality. The reality God has placed me in right now. In Texas.

Mind if I bounce some of my ponderings off you guys? I’m been pegged a deep thinker by many family and friends, so some of this might scare you. I’ve even been warned to ‘stop thinking so deep’ and ‘just don’t think about it so much’ and ‘you think too much’. I don’t know why I am this way. Maybe I shouldn’t be like this! I haven’t always gotten positive feed back from others for thinking so deeply. Maybe I do need to lighten up. For what it’s worth, I think this is a safe enough place for me to ramble on about my ‘deep thinkings’. J

But the way, I see it as, “how can you not think about it?’ Do you avoid thinking about certain things? Just when the thought enters your mind do you push it away?

See, now I need to think about that! J

 

~ Anyway, keep reading if you dare!

 

  • Relationships are important – so why don’t we {I} take more care of how I treat others; my husband? Leslie Ludy in her writings, talks about treating your spouse with respect and not getting too comfortable around them. Example: sit up straight around them, look them in the eye when they are talking, dress up more (don’t always wear baggy, old clothes even when that’s how you feel), and close the bathroom door around each other (probably more important if you have kids). She mentions more, but this is just a few of what she talks about. You can check more of her stuff out here Honestly, I’ve tried some of these and they not only are good for our relationship but they also make me feel better about myself too – like the posture one I think is important. I try to sit up straight more – not only around Jason now either. So it’s kind of like a win/win situation for both of us.
  • Win/win. While I’m on that subject, I’m reading this book that talks about relationships in decision making. The outcome in making decisions usually are one of these as follows:
    • Win/win (we both get what we want in a decision. Not a compromise though… that means somebody had to back down somewhat)
    • Win/lose (I’ll win and you will lose)
    • Lose/win (I lose so that you can win)
    • Lose/lose (I’m losing so I’ll see to it that everybody else around me loses too)
    • Win (when I win no matter what happens to everybody else!)



    Ok, so it depends on the situation. Like in sports there always has to be a loser. One wins and one loses. That we can take. But in relationships, what is my goal? Do I honestly want you to win? Ever? Do I care about you enough to do all that I can so that you will ‘win’ too? What would it take to change my though process to think more about how others might be feeling or what they may want? How would I be different/think different? and then, would people notice if I changed? Wouldn’t I gain more respect from you? Gain more integrity? Isn’t that what we all want anyway?

    In order for me to see to it that you get what you want along with me is scary! What if you get more than me eventually? I don’t want less then you! What if because you get what you want, I’ll somehow end up far behind? I don’t want to be a loser! What if you become happy? Then eventually happier than me?! That scares me because I’m not always happy. Then it’s not fair.

    I’ve come around to thinking that in order for a ‘win/win’ to happen, there needs to be risk involved. A gamble. A decision, walking into a situation already thinking I’m going to risk putting my desires and demands on hold to hear their expectations and desires AND THEN together talk and risk producing a ‘win/win’- a result for the good of all. Selflessness. Period.

     

    The other day, Jason and I were talking about where to replant some bushes from our backyard. He had his idea (I forget what it was) and I thought we could put them along the side of our house that is currently bare. He didn’t like that idea. I remember thinking to myself what’s a win/win in this??? I wanted them along the side of the house but he was like ‘no way’! How do we both win this one? In the end he decided to put them along the barren side of the house. So it was a win/lose for me. I don’t think all decisions have a win/win. It depends on the situation.

    *Playing sports win/lose

    *replanting bushes win/lose

. . . See, it depends on the situation.

 

 

 

 

  • I have been so challenged to trust in an unseen God. God is my rock. In him I’ll not be shaken. In him, my rock, I’m hiding in the cleft, looked after. I’m safe, though I don’t always feel it. I’m well taken care of, though I don’t always know it. I’m treasured, though I don’t always believe it.

     

     

     


I think I’ll stop with that for now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I can only hope my transparency brings you closer to God. “That I might know him…” Philippians 3:10a.

After all, isn’t that what we all long for?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jason & Jolynn

 


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