black garbage bags {Part I}

{ a different perspective on wwiw. }

I used to think when I was 16, that the peak of modesty was running around in a black garbage bags.  Poke your head out the top and cut two holes in the sides for your arms and of course be covered to your ankles.

You know how there are 2 extremes for almost everything and oddly enough black garbage bags in my 16-year-old-trying-to-figure-the-Bible-slash-God-and-pop-culture-and what’s-right-and-how’s-a-girl-to-live  mind, that was the most conservative, most Mennonite, most Godly, and as close to what God wanted and expected from his people, Christians, which I was.

Black garbage bags are not form revealing.  Every thing from neck to ankles would be covered.  And black would not draw attention to myself.  I did not want to dress to get attention from boys, especially the wrong kind who have dirty things on their mind with pure innocent 16 year olds.

I also didn’t want to dress simply for fashion’s sake.  I wanted to be approachable and have lots of friends.  I wanted anyone to be able to say ‘hi’ to me and not be too intimated by my clothes and how I dressed.

Yet I struggled with being ok with myself to look nice.  I felt in my heart of hearts it was wrong to look attractive and even my desire to be beautiful felt ‘wrong’.  Beauty was partnered with vanity and drawing attention to ones self.  “God so disapproves,” I was persuaded to think.  “So, what was wrong with me and why did I have these feelings to be look nice?”

Stuffing them did not work.  Something at my core inside of me desired to be beautiful.  It was like a tug of war, I wanted it but was it ok?

My mind rustled with forcing myself to be a Plain Jane or wondering if I can be ‘free‘ to look nice and not feel guilty?

Is that possible?

See, in the church I grew up in you dare not dress to look attractive.  Plain, simple and no extra fuss or you were meddling with God’s “shall not” list – if he had such a list.  The the plainer you were, the more acceptable you were- or so it seemed by the ladies modeled around me.  Pressured by the looks I would get from others who were clad with simple attire and straight faces were proof that fashion and appearance were of such things that displeased the Lord and the church leaders.

Side note: Do they dare admit today that they want to look nice or lovely?  I don’t want to be judegmental, I want to accept those people for where they are at and what they believe.  But I can’t help but wonder if those ladies feel deep with in their hearts the desire to look elegant and to be beautiful?  Are they living with that desire opened or are they shoving it far, far away from their minds?  Are they afraid of their own beauty they offer?

Does anybody else know what I’m talking about?  Did you grow up with this theology?

God created beauty.

Did God create it for only something wrong?

Can beauty be acceptable to God… ever?

Did God create beautiful roses?  Breathtaking sunsets?  Cute puppies?  And gorgeous women?

I wonder then if God is really ok with beauty?

God created it.  Was it good?

Or did God created something that was not good?

Did he put beauty here on earth only for us to not want it or engage in but to tease us?  To dangle it in front of us and as soon as we reached out and embraced it he would discipline us?

If that would be the case then it would be wrong to watch a breath taking sunset, it would be wrong to admire gorgeous roses and cute cuddly puppies.

If that’s the case, it would be wrong to accept of a beautiful woman.

♥ Peace & Love ♥

 

Since I have this desire within me to look nice and attractive can I allow myself to dress beautifully and be ok with it today?

Are you ok with being beautiful today?

Can you embrace the beauty God has given you, within and outward, today?

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4 thoughts on “black garbage bags {Part I}

  1. Good thoughts! This is such a fascinating subject… I believe God is a CREATOR, a creator is creative and enjoys beauty! We are meant to be like HIM. “He makes all things beautiful in His time”, and i know that includes me. Inside and out. By His spirit we can know the difference between pursuing the worlds definition of beauty and the beauty He created us to be.
    It doesn’t seem right to walk around looking somber and plain all the time when God has so generously lavished us with His JOY LOVE and Grace. Should we not be grateful and accept these gifts? yes i think so =)
    I’m glad you are choosing to do so, and to question what you’ve been taught to believe!

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  2. Love your thoughts. Love when you write this type of stuff. And by the way, when I first saw the title, I thought it was going to be a completely different type of post about a day when you, me, and Faye sorted through some black garbage bags. 🙂

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  3. Being beautiful as a Mennonite isn’t about wearing attractive or “fitted” clothes. Those clothes are just props. It is okay to dress elegantly as a woman, but true beauty will show without the “beautiful” clothes. The outside isn’t what really matters. The point is to show your femininity modestly while radiating your beauty from the inside.

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    1. Thanks for commenting! I agree that the inside is what really matters, perhaps clothes isn’t a big issue to you. Clothes can be used to define us or give us ‘power’. Our heart & it’s motives are important to know! Yes, we should dress like ladies and have beautiful hearts – hearts that seek hard after God!
      Thanks for getting in on this post!

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