to lead or follow

as god warmly yet securely holds my hand he directs me down a different path; i cringe.

i am saddened.  i feel like a piece of me is leaving.

i ache.

i groan.

my eyes bulge as awareness settles within this old selfish heart.

i blink back startled realization as it sinks in.

my journey with my god is not only about me.  it also includes where he wants to go.  it includes his plans for us |me|.  god silently portrays to my heart {once again} it is

not.

all.

about.

me.

i need to follow him.

~

reluctantly, i forge ahead, allowing god to lead me.  holding hands with the one who really knows me.

anticipation mingled with fear becomes my outlook.

where he leads me i determine within that i want to follow.

i don’t want to be selfish.  that’s not what i want.  really.

this path with my god is a mystery.  unknown and full of uncertainty.

but most importantly – it’s no longer about me today.

~

today the leader has decided to follow.

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2 thoughts on “to lead or follow

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