On being feminine


As I’m reading a book on Godly gender roles it gets me feeling all soft and feminine and inviting and super sweet inside.  Wouldn’t you know, I feel like I’m actually close to being the woman in the book the author describes a Godly female to be!  ( I know none of y’all have ever felt this way… )

But, as I’ve heard, the you in your head and the you people meet are two. very. different. people….

Let me give you a teeny example of this ~

In the check out line at the grocery store, I’m prompted with a typical Southern question, “Would you like some help out, Mam?”   To which I respond these days with a baby on board, a thankful, “Yes.”

As the boy walks beside me I noticed he has his hand on the handle, slightly close to mine.  It weirds me out so I take my hand away closest to his but firmly keep my other hand on the cart.  Soon he lets go.

All the while as we walk out of the store he makes friendly chatter about Gavin and seems real out going; very likable.  When we hit the pavement outside I’m totally in front of the boy at this point and navigating my way past cars to the jeep.  Thinking, “I’d hate to hold this nice guy up and be a pokey slow woman,” I hoof it down the parking lot like a woman on a mission.

When suddenly in my peripheral vision, I don’t see him.  Struck with fear of what he must think { that I’m a power mom and actually don’t need his help } I sneak a peak back.

Yup, he’s still there.  Sigh.  He didn’t desert me after all.

“Some Godly feminine woman I am,” I scold myself with a half smile not missing a beat.  “Way to be invitational to the nice guy for his help!”  But, what can I do?  The damage is done.  With a few quick steps, he’s beside me at the jeep.  After he’s done loading my bags I profusely thank him but avoid any eye contact.

As I drive out of the parking lot, I swallow a giggle.  I really wonder what that dude thought of this Mennonite woman?  Mennonite women = power moms!??!  Oh, dear!!!

Bottom line:  God’s not done working on this woman because it seems He has a long way to go yet!  😉

At the supper table I tell this story to Jason.  He mater-of-factly tells me that those guys do push your cart.

My eyes nearly pop out of my head.  “But how do they know where my car is?” I reason.

“You’re supposed to walk in front of them.”

Oh. my. WORD.  Walk in front of the cart with empty hands?!  I simply can NOT imagine this.  This lady has a long, LONG, LOoooOOoNG! way to go to feel comfortable letting men move into her life (as the book describes) and, in this case, assist her!  (Note: I am roaring with laughter as I write this!)

The irony of this event couldn’t be more timely!  The book I’m reading is, Fully Alive, by Dr. Larry Crabb.

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Have a wonderful day Ladies!

And,

may you be more fully alive as the feminine female God created you to be!  -> Now, go read this book!

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10 thoughts on “On being feminine

  1. Oh, Jolynn, I wish you would be telling this story in person, so we could roar with laughter together!!! I love it. And it’s so true that the person we think we are isn’t always the person others meet. :/ I’ve been thinking about that recently even in terms of how I communicate so poorly what is so clear in my mind. Back to the story, I identify with this, too–not wanting to be helpless; but then watching myself take over instead. I have so much growing to do, but it’s more fun when we’re in it together and when you come out with stories like this. 🙂 Also…I do let those guys push the cart, but when I have a baby in the cart I stay right beside them just because it makes me feel a little safer than walking ahead. 🙂 Yay, for grocery stores with carry out!!!

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    1. After I wrote this, I read it out loud to Jason and got to the end and almost fell off the couch laughing so hard! Jason didn’t find the uncontrollable humor in it as I did, though. He probably felt more sorry for me than anything. 😉
      It is crazy how in my head I think I’m next to perfect sometimes. (Am I serious??!!) Maybe it has something to do with desiring perfection that i’m askew. Yes, being in control leaves me feeling less of a helpless bum but in the end it’s not even what my heart wants.
      Also, I disagree with you not being a clear communicator. From what I know of you, you are detailed and specific in your speech. Something I envy due to being short-and-to-the-point-kinda-gal.

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    1. Don’t know if you’ve ever read any Crabb books or not, but they tend to be slow reads- at least for me! There’s so much to think about and process. Hope you give it a try, though! I’d love to know what you think of it then! 🙂

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  2. clearly i need to move south.. here they make us bag our own!! : /

    funny story and i smiled as i read because i can so relate.
    i’m right there w ya.. ever learning how to be a woman of God in a world so opposite that mindset.

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    1. The book is getting ‘gooder’ as I read on. Some times I’m not always in the mood to read, if you know what I mean. I feel it’s an easier read than his others. I feel like he’s just talking or babbling on. But, that goes without saying that he still writes his LONG, MEATY paragraphs where I have to pause, go back and re-read to follow his train. Looking forward to Christmas!

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