the Gift of Life and Peace -> in our minds

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How easy it is to let my mind slip and delve into the negative self talk!

All is takes is one little look at somebody sitting in church in front of me or reading a post on Facebook.  Pictures on Facebook get me too.

No matter what, I find something wrong with me or I’m not good enough.

  • horrible mother
  • not clean enough house
  • bad taste in clothes
  • worries too much
  • talks to much
  • talks to little
  • too spiritual
  • not spiritual enough

And the list goes on and on.

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A friend mentioned (in a totally non relating conversation) that at night the worrying tends to get worse.  It’s easy to over dramatize things at night then to think rationality.  So, I began to monitor my thoughts in the evenings.  And, she’s right.  I freaked out way sooner.  I over-reacted.  I worryed my pretty little head.  Situations tended to get way out of perspective.

Things just seem way worse.

At night.

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Jason told me a story about a mother who locked her 2 little children in a car for a long period of time with the heater on and they died.  Suddenly that story came to my mind one night.  And I almost started panicking.  I could barely focus on reading.

Then I remember what my friend said.  A short time later I shoved the story from my mind, said a quick prayer and I could read again.

But, it’s amazing how when I let my mind say fixed on bad stories or negative self talk, even dialoging conversations in my head ( <- anybody else do this?!) – and NOT always at NIGHT, honestly – I can quickly spiral out of reality and away from TRUTH.  My mind can think so many thinks, as Dr. Suess says, that if I”m not careful, it begins to runaway with CrAzYnEsSSSS!

And, I actually BELIEVE it most of the time!

 

Sitting in church one Sunday, I started comparing myself to the lady in front of me and how much of a better mother she was.  Right then, I caught myself.  It took a little effort to remind me that I am a good mother and eventually my thoughts we redirected.  (I wish I could say I prayed that time since we were in church no less!!)

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I think I started something.  And I like it.

You know, we so easily sell ourselves short compared to the person beside us.  There is ALWAYS something way wrong with us and somebody else is just way better.  Immediately, those well rehearsed phrases:

“Why would she like me my clothes is not as cool.”

“My baby is so much more wild then hers’.  I’m so embarrassed to be with her because she probably thinks I’m a bad mom.  And I’m sure I am.”

“I don’t fit in with ______.  They never invite me along.  What’s wrong with me?”

“Something must be wrong with me because she never comments on my Facebook.”

Yes, phrases like these, run through our minds (at least mine) affirming our inadequacies and we turn ourselves away from real friendship.  We turn away from friends because we believe our thoughts.  We turn away from the truth about each other.  The truth about ourselves.  The truth of what God thinks of ourselves.

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But what if we fixed our minds on things above?  Things that are true?  Honorable?  Lovely?

Especially true?  True about ourselves?

Because the truth is we are enough.  In Christ.  Lacking nothing.

Reading Romans 8 verse 6, Paul says, “So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death.  But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life! and peace!

I want life!

I want peace!

I want life and peace in my mind!

As ladies, don’t we all?

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So, today, I want to give you the gift of peace of mind.  How?  By letting you know that I am not thinking any bad things about you.  I think you are neat.  One of a kind.  Talented.  Good cook.  Loving mother.  Sensitive friend.  Fashionable and smart.

In fact, I’m over here trying not to compare my lousy self to next you.  I’m trying to un-convince myself that I will never have what it takes.  I’m trying to believe that as child of God, I am enough.  I’m trying to believe that God created me with something to offer you.  I’m trying to let the Spirit control my mind.

Today, I wish life and peace -> in your mind.

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19 thoughts on “the Gift of Life and Peace -> in our minds

  1. “Wishing you life and peace – in your mind…” IN YOUR MIND. That is so where is all starts!! And I think I could nearly have written all this word for word. 🙂 Probably nearly every woman/mom could. I think as women our huge downfall is comparison – and it completely shuts us down to God and from giving to other people, until everyone is in their own world of comparison, thinking thoughts about themselves that hardly anyone else thinks about them! Wow. This is a good word for me again…♥ And I’m not thinking any bad thoughts about you either. 🙂

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    1. Wow! Clarita! As quick as your comment was I do believe you get this! lol!
      And thanks for letting me know that you were not thinking any bad thoughts about me too! 🙂
      Isn’t there something so freeing in saying that to each other?

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  2. Thanks for being so real, Jolynn. I’ve been thinking a whole lot about the whole comparison thing lately. Truly, it is the thief of joy, and a totally wrong focus! Isn’t it amazing how much we over-analyze our own words/actions/appearance when other people have probably already forgotten about what we’re so worried about? 🙂 I find that God and others give me way more grace than I tend to give myself.
    Another thing I’ve been thinking about is how easy it is for me to try to offer what I love about someone else, when that’s not at all the gift God gave me to offer. How must it grieve His heart that I’m not satisfied with what He’s given me.
    Thanks for the reminder once again. And go you, for being willing to walk the journey and be real about the struggle!

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    1. Thief of joy; comparison- yes!! I wish I could grasp Gods grace more fully.
      Why aren’t we ok with ourselves? I might struggle with that all my life…
      Thanks for commenting, Mel! I hope my realness has encouraged you!

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  3. This…
    “Because the truth is we are enough. In Christ. Lacking nothing.”
    Love that. “In Christ.” Cause really, when my focus is on Christ, it’s way less about me and the worries, fears, comparisons… they kinda get small.

    Love when you write. Keep writing. 🙂

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    1. Yes, it’s good to keep truth tucked inside our hearts when comparing waxes great! Don’t even think that I haven’t compared myself to you because I have- lots! But that’s because I think you are great! And smart! And talented! And controlled!
      Looking forward to good discussions when you are down!

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  4. I like it, so much. I struggle too and I have found the more I read online, the fabulous blogs and all that, the more I compare myself. I have to be ok with me, believe HE made me just who I am, and in HIM I am enough. Good post!

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    1. Isn’t that the truth! There are so many other good writers, cuter pictures and on and on! It’s neat to peak into other moms lives via their blogs but then I find myself falling short to a standard I assume they have.
      I hope life and peace in your mind today as you read other blogs and interact with others!

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  5. Great post! Insecurity is such a crazy monster of the mind at times. It is important to not feed it. I constantly go back to this mind picture I picked up from a Beth Moore study that asks who is your measuring stick… and that is shouldn’t be anyone or thing except for God. Naming it aloud, like you did here as well, helps us find perspective I think, instead of excusing it and saying “Well, that is just how I am.” Thank you for these words of encouragement today!

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    1. I think there is power in naming things like you said. Actually voicing our crazy thoughts. By doing so I realized I’m not alone. So many other woman battle the same thing.
      And ultimately our measuring stick should be God. He is the one we ought to compare ourselves too.
      Thanks for commenting! Wishing you peace in your mind today!

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  6. Really good words, JoLynn. I have battled so much of my life with comparison and while it’s not over completely, I’m so grateful to God for the little steps I’ve made to overcome. I want to tell you that I asked our mutual friend Christy about you and she said you’re so bubbly and fun to be with. And I personally think you are beautiful and would be intimidated about myself and my clothes if I knew you were coming to visit. But I’d also believe that everything was going to be okay. Because I think we are kind of alike inside. 🙂 Happy Wednesday.

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    1. Oh dear! I don’t line that I intimidate others. That makes me intimidated by others! I really wish I was ‘cool’ like you make me sound 😉
      I was tickled when I got your cmas card and letter. I never met you but I like you and I studied your picture for a while. I feel like I sorta know you and your family from your writings 🙂
      I want you to know I’m thinking only nice things about you!
      I wish you peace in your mind!

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  7. Nice to read this as I was in the midst of a little worry party in my head over here. Ugh. I read recently that most of the things we worry about will never happen. Something like that and I keep reminding myself of that. What a waste!

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    1. I hope you were able to turn those bad thoughts around! And in the future be intentional with those thoughts!
      How many times I’ve looked at your blog and pined away! You’re so artsy and I love you taste of color! But, I need to stop that! Right now!
      I wish peace up in your head, Jo! 🙂

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  8. wow!! Such a raw and REAL post and something we need to hear more- that comparison is something we ALL struggle with. So often I feel I’m the only one who still doesn’t have all my junk together and then I read something like this and feel a sigh of relief inside, I’m not the only one!! ;))

    If only we could live this way all the time as women – with our walls down towards each other. Helping to build the other up and encourage. I know that only begins as you shared here.. when our minds are first at peace, then we can extend that peace to those around us.

    I was JUST talking to a friend about this today- the inadequacy I feel in my photog business. So the timing of reading this – and at NIGHT!! :)) is perfect!!

    Thanks for opening your heart. This is how we all learn TOGETHER!!

    and all I’m thinking of you is, what a wise woman! ;))

    Have a great (peaceful mind filled) evening~

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    1. Amber, I don’t even know you in real life and never met you but, every time I read your blog or your comments I always think to myself, “I really like this lady.”
      I love how your blog is just as honest, real and raw. And that encourages me as well. In this hard world, who doesn’t like doses of encouragement here and there?!
      Thanks for commenting. You have such talent with a camera!
      All I’m thinking of you tonight is, your blog, words and photography are SO b e a utiful!
      I wish you peace in your mind tonight as you fall asleep!

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  9. What a beautiful blog + post, Jolynn! It was so nice to meet you and spend time at your house with you and your fun little man! Thanks for being so friendly and welcoming to me during our visit to Texas. Cheers!

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    1. It was fun meeting you too! Being a transplant here, I know how boring Lott can be. Since you were visiting for quite some time, I thought you might like to get into some of the homes of the locals to experience more if Texas!
      Don’t be a stranger!

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  10. I finally got to read this, Jolynn. I love you just the way you are! You have filled a vital place in the family and am so glad to be your ‘sister’. Your words sound just like what I’ve battled many times and the only place to find peace and joy is in Jesus! Thank you for the reminder again.

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