A Clue To What Others Are Saying To You

I’ve joined this crazy ambitious group of bloggers with the Nester blogging every day for 31 days!

Day 9 in a Write 31 Day Series



A bunch of years ago I was part of a lab group that shared, listened and cared deeply. It was intense. It was mentally stretching. It set me on a course that caused me to think differently ever since.

Right out of the gate I was more in-tuned to conversation around me. I picked up rapidly on what people were really saying. Including what I was saying. It intimidated me a bit that others would be reading into my words as much as I was into theirs. Could people hear what I was really saying??

Time has lapsed now. I am not as sensitive as I once was. I know I miss opportunities to be an intentional listener every day.

If I really listen to what others are saying, they are giving clues to their very hearts. They are letting us in on secrets about themselves. If only we listen. Really listen.

LISTENING can help to RESPOND better. Respond intentionally. Instead of saying, “Oh, I know what you mean. I do blah, blah, blah” and turning the conversation on you, which truthfully isn’t want they were wanting by saying what they said in the first place. All to easily we turn the conversation back around to what we think or know or have gone through. But is that what they are wanting? To hear our autobiography?

Are you really HEARING? 

I know for me, when I’m nervous or don’t know what to say I just start talking about whatever is running through my brain – usually about myself. And, that is so not listening intentionally. Why can’t I just be quiet.

Is is ok to be quiet? To offer air space? To linger in silence? The mystery. The unknown. Silence is a huge communicator. It’s not appearing stupid or dumb or make you look more insecure. I have a theory it makes you look quite the opposite… (Just watch my husband)

Silence might give the Holy Spirit a chance to move.
Silence might allow you to see their heart.
Silence might birth a vision for them in you.
Silence might give the other person a chance to think and maybe come to a conclusion on their own.
And you helped by just giving them the space to think in front of you. Does that sound like caring to you? Is that being intentional? Purposely biting your tongue to let the Spirit move? Hushing our hearts. Being still and quite. Listening.

I want that.

I want the Spirit to move in me.

I want to be a better mother.

Better spouse.

And better friend.

I want to be intentional.



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29 thoughts on “A Clue To What Others Are Saying To You

    1. Humm, I’m still a newbie at parenting. My child is 17 months and not talking yet. But, thanks for the new thought of remembering to be intentional with listening as my child verbally communicates in the future!


  1. Love this! I too must be intentional about listening…I find myself too often being that person who can’t wait to put my thoughts in…thanks for encouraging me to be intentional about REALLY listening!!


    1. I know what it’s like to be bursting with something to say next! Occasionally when I remember to wait I forget what was SO important to say or realize later that it’s wasn’t THAT important anymore 🙂 Blessings on your journey 🙂


  2. This is so true. Thank you for the reminder. Often in the past–when listening–it struck me oddly that I would get called “a good listener”. Now I think it’s just because I often have little to say quickly. 🙂
    Question: does your family do English Country Dance? The title of your blog has me intrigued.


    1. So I actually had to to youTube what English Country Dance was! Haha! Once I’ve done something like it at a wedding that had Jewish influence. Otherwise, the name of my blog means simply that no matter what my story is that day or moment, in the end I hope to always be able to dance. Dance in unity with my Jesus. With the Holy Spirit. The trinity. That explains the title.

      Thanks for the comment. I wish you all the best on your ‘a good listener’ journey!


  3. Yes! I can get so frustrated when I feel people aren’t listening to me (in fact, I was struggling with this, just this morning!) but I forget to check in and make sure that I’m really listening, really tuned in to what others are saying (or not saying). THANK YOU for this reminder today.


    1. I get frustrated when people aren’t listening to me too. I don’t always know what to do about it.
      I’m honored my words spoke to you this morning and were helpful. What more could I ask for with this blog! 🙂


  4. What a great reminder about the power of listening! I especially like what you said about allowing that silence after someone has said something. I’m leading a Beth Moore Bible study small group at my church right now, and I am so often quick to try to fill in “awkward” silences by jumping ahead to the next discussion question or talking about myself more. I’m learning to let that silence happen, and the more I do, the more I’m noticing my girls opening up a little bit more! So sweet!


    1. It’s a very intentional move in conversation and I can see it being very powerful in a group setting. It allows people to process and build courage to share! Awe! I am so happy for you leading a study group! I wish you the best and that good things happen there!


  5. Absolutely! I have a hard time hearing, and am definitely guilty of thinking of the next thing I’m going to say. I’m learning to hear and to listen, though. I’m glad God gives us the capacity to grow and change!


    1. Yes, defiantly always trying to think of what to say next! I don’t want to make them feel awkward by standing there blank! But is it awkward? So much to learn and thankful too for grace to change and grow!


  6. This is so good, Jolynn. I’m very guilty of listening until it gets to a point where I can talk. I’m trying to grow in listening and not interrupting! I especially loved thinking about how the Spirit can move in the silence when I as the listener am willing to be quiet to give Him space to work in.


  7. Such great thoughts. I’m an introvert by nature and I love just listening while others talk without the need to force the conversation or talk about myself. You are so right that listening requires intentionality. I’m visiting from the 31 days fb page. Have a wonderful month!


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