Do you ever have those moments where you suddenly see more of someone you’ve known for years? I mean more of there personality and tendencies? Like, suddenly you see another side or dememsion of them you never gave thought to previously?
For example, we had sweet friends of ours over for supper one evening and in the midst of talking with my friend as we sat on the floor with our children, suddenly her ‘involved mom’ side burst in full focus and I couldn’t not see how much she loves kids and playing with them. I knew she loves children before and that she is a great mom, but for the first time I saw her love of child interaction and her playfulness. I was suddenly seeing MORE of her. It made me love her more.
The other afternoon my husband and I left our friends at different times – me an hour later (yes, I’m blessed with a gift of gab). And, when I came home dear Jason had picked up a little, cleaned up some toys and brought the laundry in from clothesline. I knew he was tired and was shocked at those little things he did for me. It dawned on me (actually again – I forget sometimes) what a great husband he is especially by his little ways of caring and helping me around the house. It made me love him more.
This happened between God and me. Me, all at once seeing more of him. A bigger picture of him.
Since God has given me the phase of ‘resting in a God I trust’ this new year, I’ve already, not even 20 days in 2015, doubted His trust. I’ve already acted and thought in ways that showed my doubt and trust in a reliable God. Therefore not giving space for my soul to rest.
You see, doubt = untrust.
After listening to this broadcast on Family Talk hosted by Dr James Dobson, I was unexpectedly enticed to a bigger, fuller picture of God.
His masculine side.
Please don’t get me wrong, I have always thought of God as my father or an older man. It’s just natural and the Bible refers to Him that way. But, I think the God in my head can be related to as a fellow female. I communicate to him in my feminine way and it’s not at all like how I go on to my husband. With God, I let all my bags air out – holding nothing back. With my husband, I might try to hold back some stronger emotion or long-winded details of how it all connects and probably tend to be more matter-of-fact – ok, sometimes I don’t spare him anything… ha.
Naturally, like you ladies, we connect to God’s compassionate side, long-suffering, mercy and reliable side. Yes, his loving side too. It’s his caring and softness we females tend to fuse too. At the end of the day I don’t think of God as my mighty leader and warrior who fought with me through the day. I think of him in a holding-me, filled-with-mercy-for-all-my-mistakes – kinda way. (I totally get I’m assuming. Perhaps for you it is different...)
Now, contemplating God’s masculine attributes I am able see his Leader side, his warrior side, his teacher side, and his rescuing/defending side. Immediately this sits my ego down to an inferior plane. Awe and reverence for this God fill my soul and mind.
You see, for me, it was the reminder that God is more than I’m letting him be in my heart and mind that caused me to renew my trust in Him. Spiritually on my journey this past couple of weeks I’ve gotten lost in my worries and lack of hope for tomorrow that allowed me to slip back into doubting God.
Somehow a man’s presence is good at jarring into reality. Especially if you’re like me and tend to get all thinky and worrisome and start drifting down dark tunnels of blaahh. Jason’s good at saying one-liners that jolt me into the present and reality. I like him for that.
Seeing the manliness of God has jolted me back to reality.
Back to trust.
I CAN trust this.
I can trust this God that moves in ways that prove his infallible wisdom and knows the future.
Instantly I’m drawn to follow Him. Wanting Him to lead.
There’s nothing wrong with viewing God as masculine or feminie. Actually, truth be told, He is both. A mix. Since Genisis 1:27 says- And God made man in His own likeness. In the likeness of God He made him. He made both male and female.
That says both males and females are made like Him. For more on seeing God as female read The Shack, by Paul Young. That will really stretch your brain. It’s a good read.
To usher me back to him, God used this radio program. Showing me the bigger picture of himself, He showed me the path that walks hand-in-hand with His feminine side and good leader and provider masculine side.
That makes me feel safe and protected on the journey. I am reminded that God cares and can take care of me. He can and I wish not to doubt Him.
Isn’t it so easy to doubt when we don’t see or feel God moving fast enough? Yes, that’s my problem. God doesn’t just jump to my whistle. Neither does my Gavin. Or Jason. Or my dog for that matter. Crazy mutt.
But, even then he is caring and leading me to places I can’t see just yet. He IS leading me, my strong warrior God, fighting for me and dreaming bigger dreams then I could ever dream over me.
I want to rest in that God. The God that has all the best male qualities you or I can imagine.