Why I Decided to Wrap Myself in the Chaos & 5 Things

grilled pizza


THERE IS AN ELEMENT to owning ones own smallness, ones own limitations that enhances your security, your ability of impact and authenticity with others.

A certain power is unlocked within that says you don’t have to be somebody, you don’t have to have it all together and the pressure is released like letting air slowly out of a big, giant balloon. That power is like an awakened aha! moment to the soul. It’s ownership of my limits and imperfections which allows forward movement into others lives with freedom.


Last week I hosted our monthly IF:Table. If you ever hosted people you know how it goes. Scurrying about in a cleaning frenzy insisting every thing’s just right, just cleaned and just scrubbed. In the middle of that elbow work you find yourself worrying about the conversation and feel responsibility to keep the ball rolling in the event of a lull. (I mean can you imagine 4 ladies together and none of them having anything to say? This is so worth worrying over-har har!)

This time, after checking in with my energy level of my 8 month pregnant body, I saw that today I had limits to spic-and-span-ness. My body was not going to allow me to be a mean cleaning machine. And so, I embraced my limits with the tenderness of a soft fur winter coat, zipped it up around me and smiled at my reflection in the mirror.

With tenderness, I told myself I didn’t want the table set and ready when the guests arrived. I didn’t want the house picture perfect and shiny with all the food on the table waiting. I told myself I was ok with whatever I got done before they arrived.

This time I moved in freedom and ease because I was OK with my decision.
This time I owned the actual chaos of cooking, cleaning (or lack thereof) and life with a toddler. The actual chaos of me.

mama's dough boy


It wasn’t easy with a mental tug-of-war having it out in me most of the morning and well into the afternoon. After releasing some of my feelings with a friend after lunch, I was able to securely wrap my decision around me and walk into the evening guilt free and secure with a dirty floor, messy counters, and dying plants among so many other things.

Once I decided I actually wanted my chaos visible, I felt secure in my decision.

I felt secure in my own house. << there. that’s huge, y’all.


And that night after the guests were there not once did I notice or even think about my dying plants across the room or the dirt being kicked around on the floor.

we had a
connecting evening
at my table.


Here are FIVE THINGS for your Weekend

1 Crushing on THESE boots and THESE right now.

2 THIS BOOK – go buy it. It will challenge the way you view life.

3 OLD NAVY’S BABY SALE has me swooning and dreaming right now people!

4. If you’ve had a baby or ever experienced something painful, do yourself a favor and READ THIS this weekend. You’ll be glad you did.

5. Watch THIS VIDEO ladies. Powerful thoughts on the ‘S’ word most woman distaste.


4 thoughts on “Why I Decided to Wrap Myself in the Chaos & 5 Things

  1. The conversation was lovely, the food was amazing, the little boy playing was adorable, and I left with a feeling of happiness and blessings. Real life. Real conversation. Real house. Real Chaos. All wrapped into a perfect evening!


  2. Sometimes all it takes is a moment to stop and think about what really matters. And a little mess usually isn’t worth stressing about. 🙂

    I love the boots you linked, especially the second pair. I’m reading the book. So far I’m liking it. Still need to watch the video. 😉


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