The Best Way to Look Forward – Part II



After having a child the time spent talking together with my spouse about each other reduced significantly. From baby on out most of our conversations and chit-chat revolves around said baby. This is true in my life as it was for my mother and her mother and I wonder if you might relate as well.  Unless you have some super secret trick to amazing spouse connection — then I’d have to beg of you to share with me. (Here’s my e-mail just in case)

Driving down the interstate on our anniversary get-a-way, I was determined NOT to talk about my large whale of a body or complain about my back, my bouncy babe or my Braxton’s or the child we just left behind. I was determined to talk about us and him and flirt and be sassy.

That’s what I thought.

I know it wasn’t pretty far into the trip when we began imagining what it would be like to go into labor while away from home. What a story that would be! (I’m gonna go with saying Jason brought that baby subject up but it was too long ago to really remember now; besides who’s keeping score, anyway?)

Talking about ‘us’ takes intentionality. So, talking about where we are headed in the next five that day touched base in our minds though it didn’t touch our lips til later.

The future starts today.

Maybe you’re like me and imagine that in the next five years you’ll be this awesome better version of yourself. Like by then you’ll suddenly have it all together? Be much wiser? More maturer? Quieter? More patient? A top-notch parent even?

Who do you see yourself as in five years? Have you thought about it? Is it hard to talk or think about with parenting talk that robs your conversations or brain capacity? What will the future hold for you?

I think about all that’s transpired during the past 5 years of marriage and I can’t help but see patterns in my character. I see typicalness. I see predictability. In me and my husband. So it dawned on me.

Looking back on my character reveals insight to my future self.

Knowing myself honestly and owning who I am can guide me to becoming that hopeful version I see myself in a year from now. That’s why I believe it takes a realistic look at who I am, NOT all my good intentions mind you, but who I have been in the past 5 years and then ask myself, “What is one small change can I do today that will impact the future me?” 

If you’re not sure where to start, ask God to reveal to you an area you really need to surrender to Him and resurrect anew.

Intentionality about today will hopefully create better habits for who I desire being in the next five years. Just one small change. Not everything all at once. That’s too overwhelming. I’m more enticed by what’s do-able and not going to boggle me down that I don’t even want to make a move.

One small change. Ask God for grace and strength as you begin.
Invest in your predictable future by making one small change today.


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  1. Does this post resonate with you?
  2. Is it hard to think about yourself or your relationship with your spouse as a busy parent?
  3. What’s one small change you can practice today?I’d love to hear from you!



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