What You’re Not Seeing

I couldn’t stop staring at her skirt. From the moment she walked in her loud outfit stunned me; completely catching me off guard. Nobody seemed to notice as I struggled remembering to smile ‘hi’ and even blink normally.

My friend’s skirt was attractive and pretty. Slightly daring even. She looked so nice. Why hadn’t I thought of wearing something like that? Err, why don’t I buy cool clothes like that? Words like grungy and gross could have described my overall appearance in my everyday rags. I felt grumpy and frumpy compared to her looking all fresh and fine.

Like a rocket I had landed on planet Jealousy in zero point three seconds. Not feeling anymore welcomed there, I tried reasoning myself back to reality.

Why is it that her clothes bothered me so much?
Why couldn’t I be normal? She’s my friend.
Why am I jealous.
Why couldn’t I be happy for her.
Why couldn’t I even compliment her.

Usually I struggle holding my tongue. 


Do your friends ever intimidate you with their clothes? Or maybe it’s what they did or said that builds pressure. For me I am recently owning the fact that I let my friends become my gage of acceptance and worth. It’s a bad habit of gathering cues from them that tell me if I’m ok, enough, funny, smart, stylish, you name it.

I’m vexed that I can be threatened by my friends. There’s no rest in my soul when I’m over taken by intimidation. I think God is disappointed when our value is perceived by our peers.

God longs to be our security. The one who saves us from pressure we put on ourselves.  One whom we lean on, whom we trust for our value and worth. When we become jealous of others, God become jealous of our slighted affection towards Him.

Does your heart easily stumble when you compare yourself to others?
Have you looked for affirmation in your friends?
Do you believe the worthless messages you tell yourself?

I do.
I wonder if I’m not the only one?

My desire is to be the kind of friend who compliments instead of competes.
Who listens to the spark of vulnerability instead of fearfully blowing it out.
Who speaks kindness instead of shying away in silence.

I long to remember pausing to hear God’s whisper inside me.
To engage with His spirit alive in my soul and speak His words.
To have that be more alive than jealousy, fear or intimidation.


Was this something you needed to hear again?
I’d love to hear how this spoke to you.
Let’s connect!
Please leave a comment.

4 thoughts on “What You’re Not Seeing

    1. I’m with you on wanting to complement my friends too. I really am happy for them it’s so hard to get over myself first sometimes! 😜The voice of God is just as real as the struggle. I find that I hardly ever still my soul enough to hear his gentle whisper.


    1. I wonder if it’s worse when I’m feeling bad about myself before I leave the house or talk on the phone right before the interaction. If I could develop the habit of talking with God just before the interactions about how I feel…. Maybe then we wouldn’t do the comparison thing as often.

      Liked by 1 person

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