I felt like my last post didn’t have a good conclusion besides voicing the struggle. So here is part II.
What to do you do when you’re caught off guard? How do you react when you meet up with a friend and her outfit intimidates you or she shares a story about her life which causes you to feel sorry for yourself or like you are such a loser compared to her?
There is only one solution that seems obvious to me. What do you think it is?
Say a prayer.
Say a prayer in the moment. Tell God “her outfit is really hard for me to see” or “I feel like such a flake compared to her togetherness” or “I feel so insensitive unlike like her”
Knowing what your feeling is the best place to start. Admitting that “Hey, I’m totally jealous of her right now” reveals true, raw honesty to your soul. Sometimes it’s hard for me to admit that I am really feeling jealous because I know that’s not Christian or I know it’s displeasing to God to have these kinds of feelings. I don’t like my feelings, or me! and therefore I try to pushing those feeling away. Ignore them as best I can.
Telling God frees you. Get them out in the open between you and God. Seeing your feelings and owning them instead of squashing them can bring true repentance. And that is where we need to be to move forward, right?
Even good girls like you and me need repentance.
I know repenting is a hard place to come to. Typically when we are intimidated by someone. In the moment it feels like they are in the wrong because we are hurting. But truly, I wonder if its hidden pride in our own heart that is being uncovered by God. We spend most of our lives scraping so hard to be noteworthy and ‘cool’. God thoughtfully created us just the way we are and looking to the right or the left at our peers for affirmation and value causes us to lose sight of heavenly things that matter. Things like kindness, peace, joy and goodness to name a few.
I get distracted and intimidated by people all the time so I hope you don’t think I have all the answers. My soul is not always at rest. I’d like to practice talking to God more and bringing him my true, raw feelings. Even opening up to my spouse and friends. Sometimes it helps getting things out of my head, putting real words to them. Admitting my uglys helps me process and move towards repentance and ultimately – rest.
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I hope this resonates with you. Maybe puts the cherry on top. Seals the deal. Wraps up the thought. Invokes a hearty yea and amen? I hope so. I felt more settled writing it. Any thoughts? I’d love to hear!