A Surprise Open Letter

 

Turning another year older for some people causes them to reflect and ponder the past from where they came.

Others find it a secret to keep mum. Trying to sneak through the entire day without getting noticed. My big {ENFP} personality can not for the life of me understand that reasoning.

Yet, for others it’s a celebration. A reason to party.

That’s me. I love birthdays. I love parties equally as much.

Growing up we kids often were treated with DQ ice cream cakes. Along with that, mom asked what we wanted for a birthday meal. Usually it was chicken parmesan and sour cream mashed potatoes and maybe cheesey green beans. Mom was a good cooker and I guess most of us liked that meal best.

 

 

On my birthday I’d like to expose my red dot. Where I’m at. Before I party and eat ice cream.

Recently I’ve blogged (here) on being kind to yourself. The main thrust was because you are stuck with ‘you’ the rest of your life, why not be kind to your struggles and feelings. Struggles will consistently continue across your dance floor so why not shake hands and bow to that reality and forget the notion that one day you will arrive and be perfect.

I’ve gotten some good responses to that post and I must admit after just reading The Gifts of Imperfection, by Brené Brown I’m still noodling around the thought of owning a life of struggles.

I will always have struggles. Insecurities. Anxiety. Doubts. Fear. Lack of confidence. Indecision. You fill in your words…

Keeping the idea in mind that as I age I will still be dancing with these same partners, it makes sense to me to go ahead and just make friends with them.

Instead of fighting and trying to ignore those feelings, pretending they don’t exist by pushing them as deep down as possible, why not just be comrades? Why not just welcome them in. They are a part of me.

How can you be friends with them? you might be wondering.

Good question. First of all, instead of pushing them away, listen to them. Thank them for voicing their concerns. But that’s it. Let them have their say. Hear them out. Try to understand them (which is not hard to do). But don’t let them take the lead as usual.

Then comes the tricky part. Deciding if they are true or not.

If your fears are legitimate then, by all means take their warning and run to save your soul.

But, otherwise, and most often, they are not telling you true messages. Here is where being honest with yourself counts. If you can, allow the Spirit inside of you, God’s Holy Spirit to whisper his honest truth to you. His voice is the bona fide, actual, truth. Whether you feel it or not – – because if your like me you make decisions based on your big feels….

What does God’s truth have to say about what I’m feeling right now? There is freedom in the truth if we choose to see it.

 

So, if you can see the truth, practice listening to it. The Truth from God about who you really are. Let yourself be vulnerable. Dance like nobody is watching as you risk being you to those around you. Talk about vulnerability. Maybe it’s a good idea to make friends with him too…. 

Here’s an open letter to Insecurity:

 

Good Morning Insecurities,

I know you are there. You are welcomed to dance with me today. Just so you know, I appreciate your feeling and I want to hear them out, but I will not be allowing you to make decisions for me today. Instead I will be practicing taking vulnerable leaps of faith listening instead to the Spirit alive within me. I will also practice listening to His truth and delicately live that out; which will be new and scary but I’d appreciate it you kept quiet in that process. So, as I risk this new way of thinking and being, I want you to know that I respect your thoughts and ideas but will furthermore cease to rely on them. Thank you for your cooperation in advance.

Sincerely, me

 

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