Change Like Seasons

For reasons yet to be discovered, I’m not as excited about fall this year as usual. When I see pumpkins and plaid, I just want to wrinkle my nose and squeeze my shoulders tight. Maybe I just want to wring every single last drop out of summer I can. This feeling of trepidation is perplexing because I’ve always been a fall girl. Always been in love with blankets and bonfires; lattes and leggings. Why this sudden change in me?

In hopes to arouse some fall feelings, I made a batch of pumpkin cream cheese muffins. Now when you consider this, might you guess where you store these creations? (Clue, it’s cold and starts with the letter R.) I even toasted the pecans, so you know these babies were amazing.

Two days on the counter and I couldn’t figure out why they were giving me indigestion. Sunday morning rolls around and just after Jason downed one, I open the lid to help myself and — mold. Yes, their bottoms were covered with a fuzzy blanket of mold. And I asked myself,“Why had I not thought to put these yummy guys in the refrigerator?” 

Who knows.

Who really knows.

Except, maybe the fact that I have monkey mind.

I’m an ENFP – extroverted, intuitive, feeler, perceiver on the MyersBriggs spectrum (for those of you personality profiling gurus like myself.) I have this crazy obsession with figuring out personality types. My fetish runs deep with desire to understand myself and others better. Discovering how minds works, how we make decisions, recharge and take in the world,  lights me up like a jack-o-lantern. You guys, I LOVE it!

I can waste a whole day thinking about the differences in types and researching how they interact with each other. When I understand the inclinations of  brain processes and why people say or do things, it provides clarity were it was once frustrating. We don’t all process the world the same way and for real, the things we say and do provides clues to who we are.

I test out as perceiving (the ‘P’ in ENFP) instead of J, judging. P’s “prefer a flexible and spontaneous way of life” and often leave decision open as to take in all the information they can before deciding as to not miss out on anything more awesome. If I understand this correctly, I think this means this is what I prefer my exterior world to be like – open. More specifically to me (because I’m a feeler) I’m the go-with-the-flow-y type verses a ‘J’ person likes to have things decided and planed usually ahead of time.

Are you still tracking with me? (big, big grin, y’all! Myers/Briggs is one of my soapboxes!!)

Back to the muffins…

My theory is that I baked those muffins and thought, “I’ll leave them out on the counter for the fam to snack on this evening because they are soooooooo tasty and fally.” Well, as a ‘go-with-the-flow’ lady that I am, I got distracted with our evening routine (or sudden urge to replant flowers) and next thing you know, it’s Sunday morning and those muffins, that should be refrigerated, are on the counter moldy and gross.

In my further research with MyersBriggs and ENFP’s, I’m come to accept that fact that I have monkey mind.

I. just. do.

I have lots of ideas and live in my mind full of possibilities. You get spontaneous and random with me, folks. I’m easily distracted by my big ideas or life around me and bounce from one thing to the next. I love seeing the possibilities of what could be and pursue it.

This is where I’m grateful to know my personality type.  I know where I need to try (key word here, try) to reign myself in. Practice not chasing all my bright ideas. Practice finishing what I start. Maybe write down my AMAZING ideas if I think I’ll go cra-cra not following through with them. haha!

I need to be OK with following through with the mundane tasks as they are necessary and good. Learn to cultivate gratefulness for ordinary things. I am not very practical and find it hard to focus on what’s important in this moment. Being home with my distracting kids, my work is cut out for me. I can start and stop the dishes numerous times.

If you are staying with me so far, you probably have guessed by now ENFP’s love people. I love meeting new people and learning and hearing about other ways of life. I enjoy small talk and deep, connecting conversations. I like meeting up with friends, sharing my new findings and ideas or what I’ve been processing and discovering lately.

I think it’s neat that inspite of who I am, my weaknesses are the things that (if I let them) allow me to turn my eyes back to Jesus. This is true for everyone. We all struggle in different ways. Like I love stimulating ideas and experiencing new things which can hurt others in ways that feel like negligence or like they don’t matter to me or I can come across as intimidating, distant, preoccupied or too busy…

If you connect with what I’ve been saying so far, you get how we need to let whims go, yield ourselves to others and look to Jesus for lasting fulfillment. Chasing ideas doesn’t bring fulfillment as there’s always that next exciting thing. Maybe for you it’s serving, or studying or worrying or micromanaging. Only Christ offers true satisfaction. Deep down we long to be satisfied. Jesus is offering. Will we receive Him?

Our saving grace is finding Jesus in those ordinary things, in the boredom, in the daily duties and obligations. Won’t you practice with me pausing long enough to make space to just be; space that will nurture the soil of our souls?

To be, not do.
To pause.
Live your desire.
Communion with God is true gratefulness and appreciation for the gift of life.

Just like dreading the change from summer into fall, I don’t particularly look forward to changing who I am. It’s so much easier to just be who naturally flows out of me. But God’s design for us is change – sanctification. He has a specific vision of for each of us to become holy as we die to ourselves.

As the seasons change, so does the climate of our hearts. We are constant changing beings. Discovering who you are, how you tick, and our weaknesses fosters an awareness of our need for a savior. God doesn’t want to leave us way we are.

He likes change.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

16 So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. 17 For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, 18 as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.

And if any of you are not into fall this year either, let me know! Do you know why?
Or, do you have a fetish for MyersBriggs too?
And, how is God speaking to you about change right now?
Let’s talk about it!
As always, I love hearing from YOU !


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