What to do when your personality is not designed to be a SAHM

Have you ever thought that your personality wasn’t right for this stay-at-home-mom-ness-biz-ness?

I am the mother of a preschooler and toddler with baby #3 on the way. You might be in the same situation. Or, maybe you are further down the road with older kids.

{If you are the later, go eat some pizza. But, if you have advise – my ears are peeled. Don’t hesitate to email.}

If you find yourself in my camp or similar let’s have a mama huddle for a minute and then we can eat pizza.

Does your picture of what a worthy SAHM look like feature some personality far from yours? Maybe everything your not?

I’ve thought this often.

If you’re like me, you’re a dreamer. A planner. A idea-ist. You have lists in your head of things to do, adventure to seek, stores, libraries, cultures, people, mountains and beaches to explore and causes to advocate. The world is yours for the taking but your littles are tying you down, holding you up from all that adventure seeking.

The kiddos are demanding characteristics from me, the mom that are nonexistent in me. Words like: Routine. Scheduled. Consistent. Detailed.      { Blahhh… and shudder }

+ Maybe you are a perfectionist, a neat-freak, a rule follower coveting blessed quiet and just your thoughts please. And would these kids get with the program already?

+ Maybe you’re a entrepreneur, a designer, a creator, a business woman. And would your kids grow up please.

+ Maybe your intellectual, a lover of knowledge, a researcher, a debater and your children are too darn unreasonable and lacking brains for common sense.

+ Maybe your predictable, dependable, meets obligations and deadlines, you’re there for anyone who needs but your children have to many of their own needs to let you serve.

Maybe you’re a complex combination of all of these.

Whatever you are, whatever your personal preferences may be, whatever causes your personality to hit flow, it’s simple. Your children are hindering your growth. A part of you is dying each day. The kids are in your space. In your mind. In your life and you can’t be the YOU you long for and miss.

By now you now have come to grips with the fact that you are flawed, a mistake, under qualified.

By now you figured out you are no longer that nice, kind, happy, forgiving and tolerant woman you used to be.

You’ve now decided whatever personality God invented for a mother at home to be, you are defiantly not that.

Before you put all your money on one believed ultimate best mom personality out there, hear this:

Your personality is not a design fail by God as a SAHM.

God’s will for you is not to force yourself to be all the things your not.

Whenever faced with a long-term situation of hard that is reveling your weaknesses it’s not an opportunity to shame or berate yourself or eat more pizza. In Christ you are already enough. As a mama in Christ you have the power of the spirit moving through you filling in your weaknesses. Our weaknesses are an opportunity for God’s assistance.


It takes recognition. 

When I cry out to God in my short comings or when I know a situation is demanding more than I can give on my own strength, I’m being honest with myself first of all. Repenting of my sin whether to my children, husband or whomever, the gospel is being modeled.

We aren’t called by God to be perfect mothers.

God’s will for our lives is to share the gospel.

The gospel is = repentance, redemption, restoration.

Each and every personality can model that to their kids. And that is the best parent. Ever.

Ooouy. I have so much room for improvement. 


It takes decision.

When I’m down on myself for not being more scheduled, predictable, keeping obligations, and being dependable (all the things I’m not); when I’m hard on myself for believing I’m ruining my kids, ignoring them, over reacting, shaming or speaking harshly, God’s longs for me to know the truth. I am enough. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Go, walk in Christ.

Each of our personalities have room for growth. We were created that way on purpose. There is not one secret Myers-Briggs type that wins shiny gold medals for being the Best Mom of the Universe Award. There is no such thing. Stop thinking this.

The perfect mom in your mind is not a real person. Consider this. Your image of perfection you hold yourself to is most likely a conglomerated picture of all the mothers you know or follow on social media’s best days meshed into one image and she, friends is not even real.

She does not exist.
You know your bad days. Your bad responses. Your triggers. In most cases you don’t see hers.

Like every one of us we are flawed and needy yet created in God’s image and there are things about you that mirror God’s character. Your personality in all its beautiful mess IS enough to be the perfect mother for your children. Unfortunately we remember better our mistakes then any good.

You are already killing it, mama. Just the way God created you. You just don’t see it. Nobody else could take your place.

Now go eat that pizza!


How can God fill in the gaps of your personality today?
Decide that you are enough today and walk in the truth of who God created you to be.


Happy girls are the prettiest.
– Audrey Hepburn

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If you’d like to contact me personally with thoughts, suggestions or ideas, email me at thenwedancedblog@gmail.com


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