A State of Mind in the Prenatal Nest

 

This pregnancy has taken a toll on my mind (ever hear of baby brain?) Wherefore I have not been in a mental capacity or even achieved inspiration to write in months. If I was to develop a burning desire to jot down some thoughts it becomes a hot challenge due to the fact that my time is often quickly swallowed up each day. Being a mom of two makes one quite busy.

Case and point; here I lay in bed, afraid to move as to not wake the 18 month old who has joined our bed at 5:30 this morning. So I’m kinda stuck here, tapping out these words on my WordPress app on my iPhone growing hungrier by the second and hoping to keep the little one asleep as long as possible. The time is 7:12am.

Pregnancy has also robbed large amounts of my energy and concealed it far off to a disclosed location and I haven’t come close to being reunited since. I’m hoping it makes a great reveal, a mighty come back and saddles up with me once again. That was not a kind thing to steal. Energy is my friend and I need it.

Having been pregnant before I’m well aware of the seasons of pregnancy. With each trimester comes it’s curses and then the struggle later in postpartum. The third trimester being the tiresome leg of the 9 month marathon, the long and large-feelings of body parts protruding out front larger and larger messing with my confidence and overall public beauty contentment.  This go around, I’ll be large and in charge during the steamy sauna summer months of July and August.

I’ve done the birth experience twice now and remember dearly the after birth chapter being my emotional, very weepy time – low sleep, low functionality, low control of the house and kids, low reasoning and rational (not that I was ever gifted with high does of such), lack of personal space due to needy littles and highs and lows of nursing; and not to mention low libido. I’m prepared for all of this.

I’m prepared for my planned depression in the fall of 2017. 

I’m fantasizing life with a maid twice a week for a sanity saver. I’m planning on a messy house, quick meal foods and lots of kid drama and poopy laundry. It’s always the baby that is the easiest they say and the other children that are the work. So I’m prepared for chaos to rain. But I’ll take any and every happy, sunshiny, sparkly flowers along the way.

The temps are finally hitting the 80’s in Central Texas and so far it’s been bearable. Lord help me in August, when I’m 8 months pregnant, camped out in my cranking AC-ed house with Talenti Gelato (sorry if you don’t have an HEB near you – you are SSOOOOO missing out!) and little clothes options because by that point I’ll be down to my two fav outfits that feel great.

And this brings me to another thought these days that’s been plaguing my dreams. I’m afraid I’m going to have thee most baby weight EVER when this Friesen boy makes his debut. Reason? My cravings, dear ones! Give me all things dairy! Cream cheesy desserts and pies and milk shakes. If it has cream or cheese in its official or lay name, I can’t stop craving it until it hits my taste buds. Or any baked item on the planet seems to do the trick as well. I’ll talk all your baked goods on a platter please. It doesn’t have to be fancy-schmancy. Just tasty-asty!

The other night I dreamed I gained 40 lbs already at month five! Normally you’re expected to gain 25 – 35 lbs during gestation. Understand the freaking out? There I was, in my dream, I saw my self in the bathroom peeing yet again, drenched in tears as I fretted whether to through the scales out the closest window or pitch all the snacks and replace them with kale, hummas and apples. And coconut oil. My heart was wretched.

Just curious? Do you detect a lot of sass in these words? My hormones have really ramped up the sass this trimester. Though honestly I’ve been enjoying my little ‘tude but at the same time, I have to think that this isn’t really me. As in, I’m usually a teeny bit nicer. Like, I try to be kind and think of others more often. Not be so high and mighty and always going off about something. Sweet has been replaced with sass.

Just like I’m worried that weight will stay, I’m worried the sass stay as well…

This has been my state of mind. Busy chasing kids. Busy eating yummy food. Busy taking naps. Busy spreading sass. Busy cleaning up only to see messes all over again. Not getting ahead only to start all over again the next day.

If you find some extra time in your day, can you send it my way? Or energy. I’ll take either. I’m not picky. Just deliver it with a slice a cheese cake please 🍰

 


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If you’d like to contact me personally with thoughts, suggestions or ideas, email me at thenwedancedblog@gmail.com

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